Not all friendships are built on love and respect. Some come wrapped in charm but leave you feeling emotionally exhausted. And the worst part? You often don’t even notice it’s happening until it’s too late.

Manipulative friends don’t wear warning signs. They smile, laugh, and sometimes even do kind things — but it’s all part of a bigger game. So if you’re feeling constantly off after hanging out with someone, it might be time to look a little closer.

Let’s dig into 10 clear signs your friend might be draining you — not supporting you.

They Flatter You, But Don’t Truly Mean It

Ever had a friend who always compliments you, but it feels… off? That’s flattery — not a real compliment.

Flattery is manipulative. It’s sugar-coated praise meant to butter you up so they can get something in return. Real compliments come from the heart and have no strings attached.

Why does this matter?
Because fake kindness is often the first step in emotional control. They win your trust, then use it against you.

Video: 8 Signs of a Manipulative Personality

They Don’t Show Real Empathy

You open up about a hard day, and they change the subject. Or worse — they say, “That’s nothing. Listen to my story.” Ouch.

A true friend leans in. A manipulative one tunes out or makes it about them.

How it drains you:
When your emotions are constantly dismissed, you start questioning if your feelings even matter. Spoiler alert: they do.

They Use Guilt to Control You

“You owe me.”
“If you were really my friend, you’d do this.”
“After all I’ve done for you…”

Sound familiar?

Guilt trips are a manipulator’s favorite weapon. They make you feel selfish for setting boundaries or saying no — even when you absolutely should.

They’re Never There When You Need Them

Manipulative friends expect you to show up — for their parties, their problems, their every moment of crisis.

But when you call? Suddenly, they’re “busy,” “tired,” or “forgot.”

Here’s the truth:
Friendship should be a two-way street. If you’re the only one walking, it’s time to stop moving.

They Lie — A Lot

Little lies. Big lies. Lies that make them look better or make you look worse. And when you confront them? They twist it, deny it, or make you feel crazy.

That’s not just dishonest — it’s toxic.

They Chip Away at Your Confidence

Ever heard things like:
“You really think you can do that?”
“That’s cute, but maybe leave it to someone more experienced.”
“Are you sure? That doesn’t sound like you.”

It might seem like “tough love,” but don’t be fooled. Real friends lift you up — they don’t poke holes in your self-worth.

They Drag Others Into Your Business

Triangulation is when a manipulative friend pulls someone else into your issues — instead of dealing with you directly.

They might say, “Well, she agrees with me,” or talk about you behind your back to turn others against you.

This is all about control.
It’s easier to win an argument if it’s two against one, right?

They Overwhelm You With Affection… Then Pull Back

This one’s tricky. In the beginning, they love-bomb you — constant texts, gifts, praise, plans. It feels amazing.

Until they suddenly stop.

Now you’re confused, wondering what went wrong — and trying to earn their affection again. That’s exactly what they want.

Don’t fall for it.
Love bombing is manipulation wrapped in pretty paper.

Video: 7 Things Manipulative People Say

They Set You Up to Fail

No matter what you do, it’s never enough. They keep changing the rules, moving the finish line, and watching you struggle.

This is designed to break you down — to make you feel like you can’t succeed without their help or approval.

You’re not the problem.
They just don’t want you to win.

They Invalidate Your Feelings

“You’re too sensitive.”
“Why do you always make things about you?”
“That’s not a big deal.”

Sound familiar?

When someone constantly tells you your feelings are wrong, you start to second-guess yourself. That’s gaslighting — and it’s meant to confuse and control you.

So what can you do about it?

Let’s talk about how to protect your peace.

How to Stop Being Manipulated in Friendships

• Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
• Set boundaries. Clearly say what you will and won’t accept.
• Don’t take the bait. Stay calm when they try to push your buttons.
• Keep a support circle. Talk to people you trust outside that friendship.
• Distance yourself. Sometimes the healthiest choice is walking away.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve Friends Who Respect You

Here’s the truth: Real friends support, uplift, and encourage you — even when it’s hard. They don’t make you feel small, confused, or guilty just for being yourself.

If someone constantly leaves you drained, it’s not a friendship — it’s a manipulation game.

You don’t need that kind of energy. Protect your heart, value your time, and surround yourself with people who show up, listen, and love you without strings attached.