Let’s be real—deciphering a man’s feelings can feel like trying to read a book in the dark. One minute he’s all in, and the next he’s acting distant. So how do you know if he actually loves you or if he’s just keeping you around for convenience?

The answer isn’t always in grand declarations or big gifts. Sometimes, it’s in the subtle things he does (or doesn’t do). Here’s how to tell the difference—with six signs of genuine love and six red flags that scream you’re being used.

He Looks at You Like You’re Magic vs. You Feel Invisible Around Him

A man in love can’t help but admire you. He watches you in those quiet moments—when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about, laughing at your own joke, or just sitting silently beside him. His eyes soften. There’s awe, not just attraction.

But if you constantly feel like you blend into the background, like he doesn’t even notice when you change your hairstyle or wear something new—it’s a red flag. You shouldn’t have to beg for attention. Love should feel like being seen, not overlooked.

Video: 5 Sure Signs He’s In Love With You | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

He Accepts Your Past Without Judgment vs. He Uses It Against You
No one enters a relationship without baggage. The right guy? He understands that. He listens without judging, never throws past mistakes in your face, and never uses your past to manipulate your present.

But if he constantly makes you feel guilty about your history or weaponizes your vulnerability, that’s manipulation, not love. Real love embraces all chapters of your story, even the ones with dog-eared corners.

He Shows Up for You vs. He Disappears When It Matters

Love shows up. It shows up when you’re sick, when you’re sad, and when you need support even if you don’t say a word. A man who loves you won’t vanish when things get tough. He adjusts his schedule, answers your late-night texts, and makes an effort even when it’s inconvenient.

But if he ghosts you when you’re hurting, only calls when he wants something, or bails last-minute with lame excuses—he’s not prioritizing you. Love makes room. Using you makes excuses.

He Pays Attention to the Details vs. He Refuses to Compromise

He remembers your go-to coffee order, your favorite childhood memory, and how you hum when you’re nervous. That kind of attention? It’s love. It means he’s tuned in—not just hearing you, but listening deeply.

Now flip it. If he always needs things his way, never compromises, or expects you to adjust but never budges himself—that’s not partnership. That’s selfishness dressed up as stubbornness.

He’s Emotionally Available vs. He Manipulates Your Feelings

Opening up isn’t easy, especially for men raised to hide emotions. But when he trusts you with his fears, dreams, and doubts, it means something. He’s inviting you into his inner world—and that’s not something he shares lightly.

Video: 6 Signs Your Partner Is Using You

But if he plays games, guilt-trips you, or gaslights you into thinking you’re the problem every time you bring up your needs—that’s emotional manipulation, not intimacy. If you feel confused more than comforted, step back and reassess.

He Works Through Issues With You vs. He Starts Drama or Shuts Down
Fights happen. Disagreements are normal. But a loving man will face them head-on. He’ll talk it out, own up when he’s wrong, and care about finding a solution more than winning the argument.

On the flip side, if he stonewalls you, gives you the cold shoulder, or turns small issues into huge blowups—he’s using drama to keep control. Silent treatments and yelling matches aren’t passionate—they’re toxic.

Real Love Is Quietly Loud. Using Someone Is Loudly Empty.
A man who loves you will never make you question your worth. He’ll make time, make space, and make you feel secure—even without saying much. His actions will do all the talking. From how he looks at you to how he stands by you, real love shows up in quiet, powerful ways.

But someone who’s just using you? He’ll leave you confused, anxious, and emotionally drained. He’ll pull away when you need closeness and return when it’s easy for him. His presence won’t feel like peace—it’ll feel like a question mark.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, you deserve a relationship that makes you feel seen, supported, and safe. Pay attention to the patterns, not just the promises. If he truly loves you, it’ll show—consistently, effortlessly, and genuinely. And if he doesn’t? Don’t be afraid to walk away. Real love doesn’t play games. It builds you up, makes you better, and never leaves you wondering where you stand.